Dr. Goschi's Blog

My Three Sons

While in Disney this June my husban and the boys were watching an old rerun of “My Three Sons.” How patient and wonderful Mr. Douglas was with his three boys and a single dad to boot.

On the remainder of our vacation I had the pleasure of observing many fathers with their children. It reinforced for me just how important fathers relationships are with their children. Most dads were carrying thier younger children through the park by the end of the day. And, to be honest, I didn’t see one frowning face.

It pains me to think of how many children are deprived of relationships with their dads. Be it a conflictual divorce or abandonment the result can be the same – the child loses out. It is significant for a child’s self-esteem that they feel loved by both parents.

When regular contact is restricted a child grows up feeling like they weren’t lovable enough to warrant time with dad. It doesn’t make sense necessarily for kids to feel this way. However, small children believe that everything that happens is because of them. So, if dad doesn’t spend time with their child it must be because the child isn’t worthy of it or they angered dad in some way.

I know that divorces are difficult for everyone. However, we must remember that our children didn’t divorce their parents. Withholding contact, unless the father is a danger, is never a good idea. If you allow your child to have open and frequent access your child will thank you in the long run. They will learn a big lesson in how to forgive and do for others even if it hurts you. I applaud those individuals who put their children’s needs ahead of their own.

Father’s are important and let’s never forget that. They parent differently but it doesn’t mean that kids don’t adapt. In fact, I don’t believe I could ever throw my kids into the air as many times as their dad could. Or, go on as many roller coasters as he could. June is truly a celebration of fathers.

If you need help working through a difficult divorce in which children are involved don’t hesitate to call Dr. Goschi @ (3122)595-1787 or Ask the Doctor a personal and confidential question by clicking on the side key.

Leave a Comment

Your email is never shared. Required fields are marked *

(will not be published)