Dr. Goschi's Blog

Suicide

Suicide

The focus moves to depression and suicide after Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain took their lives.  But, the suicide rate has been going up steeply since 2008 and no one really talks about it. The British Journal of Psychiatry posted an article on January 2, 2018  written by Reeves, McKee and Stuckler talking about the 10,000 suicides related to the job losses and overall bad economy during the recession between 2008 and 2010. Somehow this disturbing information was mostly ignored.  Stuckler also discussed an alarming trend that talked about all mental health issues rising.

People don’t like to talk about mental health very much until some tragedy occurs.  I’ve seen this avoidant pattern for the 30 years that I’ve been treating couples and individuals.  Seeking individual therapy for depression, anxiety or some other issues can result in the individual feeling ashamed.  Individual’s worry about the stigma of seeking individual psychotherapy.

In this age of eating healthy and working out it still seems like people at large don’t focus as much on mental health.  We should speak more openly and encourage our friends struggling with depression to seek individual treatment. However, it can be awkward to speak with a friend about their mental health issues.  It feels like a boundary intrusion. We might even hope that the pain goes away once the person gains some distance from the seeming catalyst, such as a death or loss of job.

Some people experience unrelenting depression unrelated to a specific catalyst.  Despite the individual’s life seeming wonderful they still cannot experience joy.  Even a bad hamburger in an airport could trigger a relentless depressive episode for Anthony Buordain.  Peter Splendorio quoted Bourdain in his June 8, 2018 Daily news article as saying “It’s a hamburger but not a good one.  Suddenly, I look at the hamburger and I find myself in a spiral of depression that lasts for days.” Clinicians understand this symptom as anhedonia.  Anhedonia is the inability to feel joy over life events which would usually bring one pleasure.

In these instances, family and friends find it hard to be around their loved one who cannot experience joy.  It can be exhausting and stressful to always worry about your family member. If the person tries to put on a happy face in front of everyone it will cause further stress.  The person’s moods come crashing down when they get home. Couples and family therapy help the family members and spouses of such individual’s develop empathy and understanding for toward their loved one.

Our culture demands quick fixes.  Just take a pill and it will alleviate your woes.  Depressive symptoms respond well to medication. However, meds should never be prescribed without the therapeutic relationship to back them up.  Individual counseling augments the beneficial effects of psychotropic meds. If you take antidepressants, for example, you should also see a therapist in individual therapy weekly.  Seriously, no less! Your therapist develops an intimate relationship with you. They have eyes on their patients. The therapist often sees when things start going wrong.

Bottom line is that individual therapy should be encouraged for those struggling with some kind of mental illness, especially depression.  Let’s destigmatize therapy so more individuals reach out for help when needed. Please, if you know someone who needs help or if you are struggling don’t hesitate to seek individual treatment.  If it’s an emergency and you feel like taking your life call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. I’m here to help. Call today at (312)595-1787 or email me at barbara@drgoschi.com

 

Tending to Your Relationship

Tending to Your Relationship

Over time the luster of your relationship may dwindle. Keeping passion alive in your marriage requires some effort. This advice sometimes sounds counter intuitive especially if the couple have been together for a long time. It makes sense to tend to your marriage whether together one year of fifty.

I remind my clients that even though they’ve been together a long time that personal needs and desires can and often do change. In fact, adjustments in personal needs can profoundly impact the tenor of a relationship. Couples counseling helps the couple learn how to express their evolving needs, feelings, hopes and dreams.

Couples talks can lead to arguments. Many couples fight repeatedly over the same issues. Couples counseling can help disrupt dysfunctional marital patterns. How a couple argues may contribute to the conflict. New skills acquired in therapy help the couple stop the destructive cycle.

Busy working couples find it extremely hard to make time for themselves let alone each other. Sometimes attending couple’s therapy is the only time couples make for each other. There’s just something wrong with this picture. Rather, schedule time to nurture your relationship. I often ask couples to institute a date night to help move things along.

Couples counseling helps get at the underlying issues that add to your marriage’s negative spiral. Counseling teaches each person how to listen and communicate better about what really matters rather than fighting over issues that tend to tear the relationship down. Sex can even start happening on a regular basis when the other conflicts are being taken care of.

It’s never too late to attempt to fix your marriage. Your relationship deserves your utmost attention. Put your marriage on equal par with your parenting and/or your career plans. Yes, it’s that important! As always I’m here to help. Call Dr. Goschi today at (312)595-12787 or email me at barbara@drgoschi.com