Dr. Goschi's Blog

What the heck‘s a Sexologist?

Well, I’m not exactly sure.  I discovered this word while using google analytics.  People looking for sex therapy search for a “sexologist.”  According to Wikipedia, “Sexology is the study of human sexuality, including human sexual interests, behaviors and functions.   Topics of study include sexual development, sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual relationships, sexual activities, paraphilias, and atypical sexual interests.”  Many of these topics comprise what I treat in my practice. However, people searching under this term may be looking for how they might enjoy better sexual lives rather than the most recent research on human sexuality.

I do believe that in couples counseling talking about your marital sexual interactions should be addressed.  Very often, clients who have previously worked on their marriages have neglected to work on their sexual relationship.   If your marital communication is poor it follows that your sexual life may also suffer.

In general, we view our sexual relationship as separate from other aspects of our marriage.  However, they are intrinsically tied to each other. If, for example, we are always fighting with each other this most likely has a profound impact on the frequency of your sexual expression.  Some couples have great makeup sex while others simply stop having sex when there is too much conflict. Maintaining a healthy sexual life enhances the strength of any marriage.

What does a healthy sexual life look like?  Each partner defines what they believe a healthy sex life would include.  For example, feeling gratified, expressing your needs and desires, talking about what you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy.  These topics define what couples say they require to feel sexually complete. Also, being honest with your partner if there’s something that they do sexually that bothers you tell them, instead,  share with them how they can sexually please you.

If you are looking for a “Sexologist” or more importantly someone who can help you with your sexual relationship don’t hesitate to call Dr. Barbara Goschi.  She’s here to help. You can reach her by phone at (312) 595-1787 or email her at barbara@drgoschi.com.