Relationship Satisfaction linked to Personality Traits
Research conducted by Wilson, et al in 2018 appearing in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology essentially looked at maladaptive personality traits and how these traits affected a couple’s level of romantic satisfaction. Wilson, et al wanted to know if individuals suffering from a serious personality impairment would show similar levels of impairment in their significant relationships.
Most couples seeking therapy struggle with some sort of dysfunction. For example, many couples struggle with anxiety. Within these marriages one partner may struggle with anxiety while the other partner balances out the relationship using a calm demeanor. When reading this summary do not assume your relationship is doomed if you exhibit one or more of these maladaptive traits.
Researchers looked at five maladaptive personality characteristics. These “pathological personality traits” were based on the DSM V self-report that measures pathological personality levels. The study found that these “traits” caused significant impairment in the individual and to their interpersonal functioning. The research identified pathological groups as individuals who exhibited “impaired psychosocial functioning, including lower life satisfaction, less participation in society, decreased mobility/self-care limitations, greater impulse-control problems, work problems, and relationship problems.”
The researchers studied these five maladaptive traits; “Negative Affectivity (emotional lability, anxiousness, and separation insecurity), Detachment (withdrawal, anhedonia, and intimacy avoidance), Antagonism (manipulativeness, deceitfulness, and grandiosity), Disinhibition (irresponsibility, impulsivity, and distractibility), Psychoticism (unusual belief, eccentricity, and perceptual dysregulation).” Psychologists used to refer to these “traits” as neurotic styles.
Antagonism correlated the least with romantic dissatisfaction. In contrast, “extreme variants of personality” seemed linked to lower satisfaction with intimate relationships. Over time, these “extreme” traits tended to undermine the quality of the relationship. In marital therapy this bears some truth. Extremely disturbed partners and their dysfunctional behavior result in constant tumult. Couples therapy or coaching can help when partners make the difficult changes necessary to overcome their problems.
Marital therapists see varying degrees of the five dysfunctional traits mentioned in the research. After some effort working through the conflict the couple begins to feel relief. Many times the couple acquires new positive behaviors to replace the old ones. Marital therapy and/or coaching helps with this growth process.
Some individuals do exhibit high levels of pathology. In these instances, the partner needs to make an assessment of whether they should stay in the marriage. The research implies that partners of these highly dysfunctional individuals may also suffer from severe psychological issues. They may tolerate their partner for these reasons. Other times the partner’s pathology only reveals itself after marriage. These particular individuals can hide a lot from their partners. It is as if the individual was on their best behavior till the vows were exchanged.
However, I’m an optimist. I’ve seen couples work through very difficult issues to find a better, more loving relationship on the other side. Of course, this doesn’t always happen and I’ve seen my share of very problematic relationships which result in divorce. I would like to see follow up research. For those individuals who are deemed severely “pathological” do they ever get better and eventually find a fulfilling relationship?
If your marriage is in trouble please don’t hesitate to call today to schedule a couples’ therapy or a coaching session. I’m here to help you work through your conflict to find better solutions and a more fulfilling relationship. Call today! You can reach me at (312)595-1787 or email me at barbara@drgoschi.com